Mood Swings

I am on a swing-
The swing of moods

It
starts,
Then rises
Up in a curve
Into unseen heights
Further into the firmament
Then the journey back –
Another curve
Slows down
Slower,
Still.

Phew! I get down,
How peaceful, down here!
The heights were scary!

Ripples

Now I am a lake.
Every skimming swallow
And every blowing breeze
Stir up ripples on me.

They spread out,
Grow wider but less intense.
Seconds,
Minutes…

I wait for stillness –
Patiently!
And then it sails in –
Peace!

I savour
The brief lull,
Till the  swallow or breeze
Returns to taunt or tickle me.

Let the swallows skim
And the breeze blow,
They can’t help it,
I don’t mind rippling either.

Eureka!

Finally it struck me. Of late I have been looking frequently into my inner self trying to recognize the real me. And the glad news is that I am gradually coming to  terms with myself.

So what had been happening all these years? I hear people  say childhood was amazing. Really? Superficially there were a lot of interesting episodes during my childhood too, but within, I was perplexed. A lost soul.

My worries almost pricked me to death. I mercilessly tortured myself. The words of advice had no effect because all along I successfully pretended to believe them.

And what  is the latest development? I really understand them. My mind has learnt its lessons and is docile. My alarms go off when my thoughts go astray. I am the master of my feelings and I know how to tame them. Isn’t that the real inner peace?

It’s good to be a grown up. While young I had the feeling that I would be dead and gone before I hit 30. I know why He waited. Now I am ready – do You hear me?

Ah, now when I look out at the world outside all I see is tranquility. My inner embers have started glowing and they act as my beacon in this turbulent sea of life. I am happy and peaceful at this moment. Even if you throw out that dish in the kitchen which took me an hour to prepare, I will not be provoked (but merely kill you with my smile). ;)

Isn’t that real peace? It’s great to be alive!

Peace be with you and me!

Technology-stricken

(Warning: Concocted contents!)

Before you read on, watch this ad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQZTiQLSuj4

This happened at the clinic. I couldn’t believe I was looking at the very same lady featured in the given ad.

She looked worn out. The already size-zero figure had been reduced to some subzero size. What might have happened to the euphoric girl there? Somebody cast an evil eye on the happy family? I admit I had felt a bit green, but evil eye… no, never!

I was curious. I created an opportunity to talk to her while we were waiting for our turn. And what she told me was discomfiting, sort of.

This is the dismal side of my life these days as opposed to what you see in that ad.

When I opted for an easy clean paint for our apartment I had only one squeaky-clean intention: to safeguard the walls from the onslaught of a hyperactive father and son. The walls constantly exposed to their activities had been slightly shabby with the graffiti, murals and pardonable splashy games.

But with me around, they tried to be nice. Sometimes I felt sorry to see them restrain from their favourite games in my austere presence. So I approached the retailer in the hope of a permanent solution. The attempt was fruitful, or that was the impression I had, soon after the painting. And in the ad, you see what happened on the very first day we moved in after the paint was dry.

That was perhaps the last of my happy days. Sad that our loved ones often take our connivances for granted. What followed were dreadful scenes reminiscent of pandemonium.

Being a person as good as my word, I could not break my offer to be indulgent. As a result the games became more and more impish and unpredictable– splashy, squeezy, sprayey, what not! Without a break I have to keep on my heels cleaning the coffee stains, sprayed colours, drawings and all the possible techniques they could think of to mar the poor walls. Things get out of hand when they miss the wall and end up soiling my expensive carpet or wall hangings, which do not come under the cover of easy-clean technique.

Splashing his daily glass of milk on the wall is my son’s favourite game. He too has grown thin (like me) and become calcium-deprived. See, he fractured his hand yesterday.

The paint is darned-good. Of course cleaning has become easy, but at the cost of my leisure, my peace and my life!