Category Archives: Emotions

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Each time I see my profile pic
And an inviting blank space
Below each and every post
By those unknown ‘post’ers,
My heart starts pounding –
How should I comment on…

the lady who made dosa today,

the girls who had cupcakes and selfies,

the boys who tried beer and adventure,

the man who stood beside a Rolls Royce,

the activist who was infuriated,

the journalist who was ‘enlightened’,

the teacher who came across

another meme that resonated,

the business man who hosted

another dinner for the celebrities?

My material soul utters scornfully:
Loser, it’s your turn to impress.

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My Files


Thus I was born with
those few basic programmes.

As voices and visuals poured in
I felt I got access to more.

Later I had my own words
Making me edit, delete,
Update and add more.

More faces, words, deeds
Knowledge, experiences –
The evolving continued.

Then the teenage rebellion!

The ordeals of life
Overhauled them often.

At times they were futile
Making me look pathetic.

Now here I am today,
digging into the enormous,
tangled pile of life files
searching frantically for
my disaster management docs!

‘Alarm’ing!


I hate him –
the rigid precisionist
who axed the climax
of my thriller dream.

I tried feigning sleep
but the unkindest cut
was too loud, fatal,
leaving me ‘clueless’!

Now who will tell me
what happened to me
after I came out of
the palace-cum-barn-cum-mountain?

 

 

 

 

Escape Velocity


It’s almost an hour.
I am speaking to her.
Trying my best
to get to the core.

Discuss, motivate, encourage,
beg, empathize, sympathize,
agitate, provoke, admonish.
But nothing cracks through.

She’s so calloused.

About to give up,
Desperate,
One last question
out of the blue!

Voila!

The escape velocity attained.
Tears, disclosures, confessions.

Two souls
Over the moon.

SOS


(STORIES FROM THE SCHOOL – II)

Girl 1

She couldn’t answer –
Today too!

Meet me later.

What is the problem, dear?

I’m sc..a..r..ed..

Hmm… no more questions.
Let me know when you are ready.

Girl 2

She was late again-
Third day in a row.

Why?
No reply – as usual.

Her shabby uniform,
Skinny frame,
Terrified looks
Were no good signs.
Time to poke my nose.

Contaminated


In those moments of peace
There was nothing to stir
the tranquility of her mind.

Bored by the stillness and monotony
the mind had curled up somewhere.

Then the message beep!
Surprisingly she decided to check.
OMG! How come?!
Did he…? How can he…?

The mind woke up
Contaminated!

She could feel
the pressure build up,
the breathing quicken
the stomach cramp.

She read it again, to confirm
before the explosion.

Only to realize – her prejudices
had pulled a prank on her.

Cruel revenge!

 

 

 

Decision


What? Which?
How? When?
Where?
But, what if…?

The next moment
is obscure,
consequences
concealed.

I weigh harder.

At last,
blindly
I go for it!

What if…?

Ssshhh…

Face it!

Then,

enjoy

or

endure!

Crossroads


 

At this point

I start wondering –

What have I done?

Have I been doing it right?

Is there an undo option?

Can I start all over again?

Where are the roads?

Through the gloom I grope around.

They say there is light at the end

But for me seeing is believing.

I am waiting for my albatross.

Or have I already killed it?

Am I being plagued by its spirit?

Yearning


Given up grumbling
And taken up yearning.
Yearning for the impossible.
Wait a minute – impossible?

My body is weighing me down.
The weight loss didn’t help,
The dropping BMI doesn’t satisfy.
I now relate better to the anorexic.
Not just a size zero,
but only zero weight would gratify.

The vast universe is calling
But with this demanding body –
a liability – how far can I go?
I don’t care about eating,
cleaning, rest – I’ve no time!

My soul, too enormous,
has been squeezed into this fragile form
Where he chokes, frantically knocks,
And moans in distress.

I beg him to wait
till I’m done with my chores.
Till tomorrow? Next year?
Till my kids have grown up?
I don’t know!
But he is in misery, he signals.
Every earthly moment kills.

The universe is calling!

I dream of blending in with it
Feeling its infinity with each atom.
Atom? Or just energy?

Whatever!

The universe keeps calling,
My soul is desperate
Awaiting deliverance!

Grumbler


Boredom gnaws,
but I won’t give up.

Determined,
I set out
on this journey –
from room to room.
This room, that room,
the other room – the end.

Still resolved.
Reading, cooking,
Cleaning, writing,
Creating – Repeat.

Yoga!
Yoga for relaxation,
Yoga for flat belly,
Power yoga –
Two sessions a day!

YouTube! Veganism,
minimalism, feminism…
Blogs, hmmm…
Facebook, ugh!

I open the windows
only to close it –
struck by the desert summer.

How long
shall I hang on?!