Monthly Archives: June 2016

Crossroads


 

At this point

I start wondering –

What have I done?

Have I been doing it right?

Is there an undo option?

Can I start all over again?

Where are the roads?

Through the gloom I grope around.

They say there is light at the end

But for me seeing is believing.

I am waiting for my albatross.

Or have I already killed it?

Am I being plagued by its spirit?

Yearning


Given up grumbling
And taken up yearning.
Yearning for the impossible.
Wait a minute – impossible?

My body is weighing me down.
The weight loss didn’t help,
The dropping BMI doesn’t satisfy.
I now relate better to the anorexic.
Not just a size zero,
but only zero weight would gratify.

The vast universe is calling
But with this demanding body –
a liability – how far can I go?
I don’t care about eating,
cleaning, rest – I’ve no time!

My soul, too enormous,
has been squeezed into this fragile form
Where he chokes, frantically knocks,
And moans in distress.

I beg him to wait
till I’m done with my chores.
Till tomorrow? Next year?
Till my kids have grown up?
I don’t know!
But he is in misery, he signals.
Every earthly moment kills.

The universe is calling!

I dream of blending in with it
Feeling its infinity with each atom.
Atom? Or just energy?

Whatever!

The universe keeps calling,
My soul is desperate
Awaiting deliverance!

Grumbler


Boredom gnaws,
but I won’t give up.

Determined,
I set out
on this journey –
from room to room.
This room, that room,
the other room – the end.

Still resolved.
Reading, cooking,
Cleaning, writing,
Creating – Repeat.

Yoga!
Yoga for relaxation,
Yoga for flat belly,
Power yoga –
Two sessions a day!

YouTube! Veganism,
minimalism, feminism…
Blogs, hmmm…
Facebook, ugh!

I open the windows
only to close it –
struck by the desert summer.

How long
shall I hang on?!